Are You a ‘Drain’ or a ‘Radiator’?

This concept comes from my wonderful sister Sandra who has so much common sense and understanding of life.

There are two sorts of people – those who take and those who give. Of course we all do a bit of both, but when you boil it all down, people are mainly one or the other. You know what I’m talking about – when you find there’s a message on your telephone answering machine, does your heart sink when you hear the first few words and recognise the voice, or do you ring them straight back without even waiting to hear the whole message because you’re so keen to speak to them?

Sure enough, if it’s a ‘drain’ you know there will be some tale of woe, some problem they think is far more important than even asking how you are. And you can bet they will want something – even if it’s just your time and patience. These are the takers, the people who drain your energy and positivity and wear you down. On the other hand, if it’s a ‘radiator’ on the phone, you know that even though they may have the most serious problems they will find some way to give you something, even if it’s to remind you how fond they are of you. These people give off a glow, a happy feeling that makes all the difference. No one can be happy or positive all the time – life throws out some dreadful stuff and most times you just have to get through it on your own. But my goodness, does it help to know there are a few radiators around who just by being there can give you strength and encouragement. They don’t have to take your problems on or offer solutions, they just help by their caring attitude and a genuine concern for you.

So which one are you – a drain or a radiator? And what type are the people who are closest to you? If you have more drains than radiators – don’t be surprised why you constantly feel low and drained – if you surround yourself with negative people, you can’t help being affected. But there is some good news – first of all – you can change the people around you – seek out those radiators – and be amazed at the difference in your mood. And if you discover you are a drain – guess what? - you can change too! That’s the beauty of discovery – once you know, you can do something about it. Next time you call someone to moan about your problems, think about how they might be feeling – you may have had a dreadful day or something unpleasant has happened to you, but is it fair to dump that on them?

One final word - make sure your change is genuine – there’s nothing worse than a drain pretending to be a radiator because they think it’ll make them more popular. You only get to be a radiator if you are sincere and genuine. Give it a try and feel the difference.